As the summer ends!

What a great summer its been, we have had such great weather and as the dark nights approach and the temperatures dip I realise what a lover of sunshine I am. We celebrated my birthday in August with friends from the running club and enjoyed a weeks holiday in a villa in Turkey. It was a beautiful place out in the wilderness with no other civilisation to be seen or heard without getting in the car. I got up at dawn every morning and found a 5 mile out and back route and went for a run. On return the sun was just about rising around our pool where I would practice yoga for 20 minutes. Its very strange that my life has changed in this way. Before the peri-menopause we would be in a busy location or resort and drink until the early hours partying. However, alcohol and the peri-menopause just doesn’t mix and I have had to limit alcohol to a minimum otherwise I am not myself at all for a few days.

When we get back from Turkey,  the weather changes and I am feeling the post holiday blues. Although on reflection things haven’t been quite right for around 8-10 weeks. I keep considering going back to see the menopause specialist in Cwmbran to chat about what I think are recurring symptoms. However I keep thinking I should leave it a while, I know they have a long waiting list and I don’t want to take up an appointment that some other desperate person may be waiting for. I use the menopause doctor website and its facebook group page but I am just not feeling any better so I ring for an appointment and luckily enough I get a gynaecologist appointment a week later with Nicky Noble. I am not sure what to expect to be honest but my symptoms are not getting any better.

• Intolerance of others makes me feel irritable
• I don’t feel very sociable
• Brain fog – its difficult to be around people when this is bad because I can’t talk properly.
• I want to be on my own a lot and I avoid doing things with people.
• Night sweats
• Vaginal dryness
• My eyesight is weird although my prescription hasn’t changed

I went to the clinic and checked in with the nurse who took my blood pressure etc. She is very chatty about the menopause. She thinks I am a nurse because I apparently know a lot about the menopause. This makes me smile. She is such a lovely lady, but I am finding hard to give her eye contact because I can’t think straight. She is going to think I am really ignorant but I just can’t help it. Next I go into see Nicky who is the nurse consultant that supports Dr Charlotte Fleming. I am quite emotional and tearful at this point because I just don’t know whats wrong with me. She is so understanding. I tell her that all my symptoms are returning and ask what my options are. I am really surprised during our chat. Since I first met Nicky in February 2018 I feel that a lot has moved on. She is talking about how she is attending many of the big employers in the area giving talks to teams about the menopause in the workplace, all the different ways of prescribing etc. I feel so confident in her (and this is not meant to read as patronising) and her (new?) knowledge its quite exciting. I tell her about the menopause conference I attended in Cardiff in early September. What an experience that was, sat amongst GP’s, gynaecologists, consultants, its quite funny to hear the presenters telling GP’s not to prescribe anti-depressants for women who come into surgery with menopausal symptoms. I got so much from attending the event. There’s also a few menopause cafes starting locally so I head to facebook looking for dates so I can attend. At this stage I want to help as many people as possible, because I wish this was available to me when I was really struggling.

Nicky explains to me what my options are. Firstly she thinks I should increase the Evorel from 75mcg to 100mcg and add in some Vagifem to help alleviate the vaginal dryness. She agrees I am ok to use the Utrogeston vaginally too but asks me to consider a mirena coil. I didn’t have a good experience of the coil in my younger years however we agreed I would see how I get on and go back for a review in January. I now get to increase the testosterone gel to one application a day too so we will see how that goes (hairier legs?)

I also appreciate that I need to continue to eat a healthy diet. I can no longer drink wine and most alcohol has to be in small doses so for most of the time I abstain altogether. I went out with some friends on Saturday and I had 3 beers and one cocktail. I am still not feeling great 2 days later. Its a constant feeling of brain fog and tiredness. Is it really worth it. I also need to consciously eat unprocessed foods and clean eat as much as possible. Its difficult sometimes though because I really like sweets, chocolate and cake every now and then and if I crave it, nothing stops me.

On Sunday 14th October I went to my first Menopause Cafe in Fourteen Locks Canal centre. There I met other women who are experiencing the menopause. Some are just starting a journey, others have been experiencing the symptoms for years, others have been taking HRT – we are all different yet suffering. Its really good to hear other peoples stories and as this is now the start of the World Menopause Week its helpful to hear what else is going on out there. We only had an hour to chat but it was worthwhile. I took my carrier bag of tablets and patches as I thought it might be helpful to share what I am prescribed. I have also booked to attend the Cardiff menopause cafe on Thursday 18th.

In the meantime I continue to run, still attend pilates and yoga and I go to the gym twice a week. I am still looking for a job because money is getting tight and that is starting to give me anxiety. Snowdonia Marathon is in 2 weeks time and I am getting such a buzz from my training. I got a PB at parkrun on Saturday and all that contributes to feeling good and having more good days than bad.

By the time I sign in next time I hope that the increased Evorel dose has had a positive effect and you never know I may have secured a job offer