The ‘Change’

Its been nearly 5 months since I last posted. I did this for a reason. At the end of December things had still not improved that much and despite a number of my symptoms being resolved, I still wasn’t feeling ‘me’. I have been feeling tired, lethargic, unmotivated. Now don’t get me wrong, I am still doing my sessions in the gym and getting out for a run, but everything else? It’s on the back burner. I have become the ‘mañana’ women. Maybe because I don’t work anymore and everything can now wait until tomorrow. My tolerance levels are changing, I don’t seem to care about ‘things’ as much as I used to. I stray away from negativity, I don’t seem to want to talk about anything that’s going to stress me out. I isolate myself a lot. I have to put a lot of effort into socialising when I ‘have to’ sometimes. Its just not me!

I have an appointment with the menopause clinic. I tell the menopause nurse that I am just not feeling great. I have put it down to an intolerance of the Utrogeston. I only feel crap on the days of the month when I start taking it. I admit that there are some months that I don’t take it at all because I might be going on holiday for example and don’t want to spoil it. Nicky suggests I think about having the marina coil. Many women use it and have great benefits from it. I know how important progesterone is so not using it is not an option. It keeps the lining of the cervix healthy and stops a build up of the lining of the womb which can cause cancer. So I make another appointment as Dr Charlotte Fleming will need to perform this procedure. I had a coil years ago and I can’t say I had a good experience with it, so I go away considering my options.

Its just 3 weeks later when I actually get a consultation with Dr Charlotte Fleming. I tell her some of my history. How great HRT has been for me, but there’s still a change I just can’t seem to resolve. I tell her that maybe ‘this is it’. Maybe I do have to just put up with this now, maybe this is as good as it gets. She has the results of my blood tests because maybe I am not absorbing the patches very well. Despite seeing lots of good improvement she tells me that I shouldn’t be having  morbid thoughts, nightmares that keep me awake sometimes, low levels of mood. My blood results show a level of Oestrogen at 202 – it should be 600-800. How bizarre, I have been on the highest dose of the patch. So it just goes to show not everyone benefits from patches. Luckily my testosterone is doing its job. My blood shows levels of 0.8-2.5 which is normal. Charlotte recommends that I use the gel and scrap the suggestion of the coil. She tells me that due to low levels of Oestrogen, my symptoms will be as bad as they are.

I also share with Charlotte the work that I have been doing with FTWW (Fair Treatment for the Women in Wales) and the campaign that has been headed by Diane Danzebrink. I have been to Westminster for a round table discussion with the Health Secretary with a view to improving health services for Women suffering with the symptoms of the Menopause. All this work has prompted lots of media coverage and I am in the process of working alongside FTWW to campaign to the Welsh Government. Let’s just say this is a slow process. If you have ever contacted WG you will understand the types of ‘bog standard’ response I have received so far. Charlotte is really keen to hear this and tells me that if there are any events that she could contribute to she would love to be involved. So watch this space!

So here it is, my revised prescription and I go away feeling positive

There is one thing for sure though that I definitely need to cover here. Food and alcohol. For the last 4 months I have been keeping a menopause diary. It follows my mood, energy levels, exercise, sleep, alcohol and specific events. There is a pattern which is astounding. My mood and sleep pattern significantly changes when I eat too many complex carbs. If I eat sugar or high fat content – wow!

My weight stabilises when I don’t eat too many carbs, my sleep pattern is normal when I ‘clean eat’ and anxiety is significantly reduced when I don’t drink alcohol. Life just isn’t the same anymore. I socialise differently because I can’t seem to tolerate alcohol anymore. Holidays are no longer booze cruises and bed time is 10pm

AND THATS WHY THIS BLOG IS CALLED ‘THE CHANGE’.

I am just going to leave you with this diagram though. For whatever reason, I am experiencing some vaginal dryness despite using the Vagifem. And here’s a funny thing. The clinic phoned me when I was in work to change my next appointment, so I had to ask them to send me a prescription as I wouldn’t have enough to last me. The lady on the phone said she would send a prescription for Oestrogel, Tostran and Utrogeston. In a whisper I said I also needed Vagifem. She couldn’t hear me so I had to say it a bit louder. There were others in the room. WHEN DOES IT BECOME OK TO SAY IT OUT LOUD!

‘I also need Vagifem!’

ps I have started a part time job 😉